Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A LETTER TO MY KAIDENCE!

My Dearest Kaidence,

Today is December 23rd, only 2 days before Christmas and we are celebrating your "First Angel Heart Birthday." Last year at this time you were in surgery and we were awaiting the arrival of your new heart. The moment they came and told me your new heart was in a beating will be a moment that I never forget. This gift was given to you by an amazing family who's little boy returned back to Heavenly Father. They wanted you to live and be happy and because of them you will.

Kaidence, you truly are a daughter of God. You have been blessed with many beautiful attributes that were given to you by your Heavenly Father so that you would be prepared for the trials that you would face in this lifetime. One thing that the nurses and doctors that cared for you for so long said about you, was that you were full of patience and grace. I am amazed by these qualities every time I think back to those days. It was like you knew that this was part of your mission in life and that you accepted everything about it, including the pain.

You are a fighter Kaidence, You never gave up. You are our "Fairy of Faith." We know that "Medically speaking", you should not be here. But we know that "Spiritually Speaking" Heavenly Father has his own plans for you. You have a big purpose. You have already taught so many about life. You have given so many HOPE.

Faith, fasting and prayer were some of the things that we could not have done without. I have spent many nights on my knees in a hospital bathroom pleading in prayer.
You have had many amazing blessing given to you by your daddy and others and I am starting to see those unfold before my eyes. You do have an "infectious love" and so many "have been drawn to you." You are also a "medical miracle" and are"living a happy, joyful and fulfilled life at home with your parents and your brothers." So many people love you, many of whom you don't even know yet. Kaidence, I want you to know that while you were sick so many reached out to your family and we have been blessed by hundreds of acts of kindness and service.

Kaidence, I am sorry for all the times that I have had to hold you down while doctors and nurses did what they needed to do. I know that you probably wondered why your mommy would let others hurt you like that. It would break my heart when you would just cry and look at me or when you would reach our you IV filled hands and want mommy to pick you up, but I couldn't. You were too sick . I knew that it took all your energy to lift your little arms to me, because you were so weak you would no longer fight or cry when they would come to draw blood and place IV's. You no longer had a voice for yourself but please know that your daddy and I have tried and will continue to be your voice.

Kaidence, you have two AMAZING big brothers who love you very much. They have made sacrifices but never complained because they love you. They have learned more about faith and prayer than most their age and they too recognize that Heavenly Father has heared their prayers for you. Because of what they have seen you go through and watching others at he hospital they have been blessed with the gift of compassion, prayer and understanding for others. They understood that mommy had to spend so much time with you because they didn't want you to be alone at the hospital. They have been so good to you.

Kaidence, you have carried a great spirit about you since your birth and now I know why. I would never trade all the sleepless night, sick tummies, the tears, worry, walking the hospital halls in my pj's, and my crash course in nursing for anything, because I get to love and care for you in this lifetime.
I love you my baby girl. Always embrace life and who you are. You are my miracle!

I Love you,
Mommy

****UPDATE- I think we are going home today!!!!
Here is the link to her article from Sunday http://www.standard.net/live/news/159399

20 comments:

Spencer and Becky Wertz said...

I hope you do get to go home! Happy holidays!

The Simmons Family said...

That was beautiful!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!! I pray that you will be home this Christmas!!

Andrea

The Hood's said...

That letter was beautiful! She will cherish that in the years to come.
We are members of IHH and check in on you from time to time. I'm so sorry to hear about this last bump in the road. I pray that all will go well for you guys!
I just wanted to let you know that I saw your commercial on tv this morning. You guys did a great job! What a beautiful gift your family has been given. Your story has touched so many.
Lots of good thoughts and prayers will keep coming your way!
Gary, Camille, Sam & Alex (DILV)

The G Fam said...

Our prayers are with you guys! Merry Christmas and please know you are in our hearts and prayers!
Heart hugs,
Emily and Mike
(and as always, our angels watching over your sweet family)

angie said...

Happy Happy beautiful heart anniversary! your letter was beautiful and heart wrenching, so happy you get to spend christmas at home. hope everyone is feeling better. Merry christmas. oh and hope the search for the devil oreos ended well!!!!!

Mike and Rebecca said...

We are praying that you get home for the Holidays. We enjoyed visiting with you last week. Merry Christmas, and "Angel Heart" day.

Rebecca

summer said...

I hope you made iy home and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas! I sure remember being there in the PICU when we found out Kaidence was getting her heart! I will always remember the joy beaming from you face! There could have been no better Christmas gift for you and Mike last year! We love you!

Family Scads said...

That was beautiful. It made me cry because I feel the same for my little guy (especially the holding down our kiddos while they get poked. I hate that!). I know our kiddos have a special purpose. They are so amazing.

Beck is in the hospital right now also. I hate being in the hospital over the holidays! Beck was also in the hospital for his 1 year transplant anniversary. I think that we need to get Kaidence and him together because they have way to much in common!

Lots of prayers that you can go home soon and lots of prayers for the donor family at this time!

-Kim

Debbie said...

Shauntelle and Mike,It's been awhile since I have taken the time to look at blogs. What a beautiful letter to your sweet Kaidence. You have such a beautiful way of expressing yourself. As I read this the tears were running down my face. I feel of your beautiful sweet spirit through your touching words. You and Mike are spiritual giants that have shared your experience with the world. I'm sure you will never know the impact that you have had on so many people. I know that your lives as well as your children will continue to be blessed as you share your life's mission and journey with others. You are in our thoughts and prayers and we love you. My love to all of you. Aunt Deb

Michele said...

My heart sank when I started to read your post and saw 'angel heart....' I saw the word 'angel' and thought that Kaidence was no longer with us!! I quickly skimmed your past entries and then it all made sense what the letter was about. Whew!! I seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack! Anyway, what a loving letter to your daughter. So many feelings you have are felt by all of us heart moms. I am glad Kaidence is such a little fighter! Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Jaxsons Fight said...

Happy one year of recieving the greatest gift. Hopefully you go home. Lacey and Jax

Julianne said...

I hope you and your family are doing well and enjoyed Christmas. What a stressful time it must have been for you. I wanted to let you know we had our baby on the 27th. You can read about it and see some pictures at thekressfamily.blogspot.com. I plan on visiting cardiology with him, but probably not until Feb. You still going in on the first thursday? As always, my prayers are with you.

Julianne

Melanie said...

I hope everything is going alright with Kaidence. I continue to check and see if you've updated. I hope your Christmas and New Years were wonderful and that Kaidence was able to be home for it. We wish you the best of this new year!

~Melanie

Seth said...

I finally got on to check how kaidence was doing, and my first thought when I saw your entry was, "Did she die?!!" So, no worries, I figured it out. I hope you made it home for christmas.

Dr.Rutledge said...

Hi,

I'm an academic physician (formerly at Harvard and Stanford) who found your blog while looking for the best health writers. I think your writing is great! I would like to feature you in the Heart Health Community on Wellsphere, a top 10 health website that has well over 2 million visitors monthly.

If you would like to learn more, just drop me an email to Dr.Rutledge@wellsphere.com

Heidi McMillan said...

http://serv.sharedbook.com/blogworld/printmyblog/index.html

This is a link to a blog book possibility. The one that my friend used and I liked is no longer running. She hasn't tried this one out, so I don't know much about the company, but it looks cools. If you google print blogs some other sites come up. Let me know if you find anything you love. I am just figuring this one out too. We are praying for little Kaidence. She is truly a miracle and inspirationt to all! Love, heidi

Heidi McMillan said...

By the way, I ate Thanksgiving dinner with one of your nurses. I forget her name, but she was so nice and it was fun sharing stories from different hospitals. She said she took care of kaidence once when you needed to do something at home. She LOVES your little girl. Small world.

Mimi said...

Oh sweet girl! Happy heart anniversary- it is such an emotional time I'm sure! Loved this letter. I love reading about how she is doing!

Heidi McMillan said...

heidi.mcmillan@gmail.com is my email. Feel free to email me. Heidi

The McOmie Four said...

Hey, is everything still going okay? Email me if you get a minute. staylers_hunny@yahoo
Love ya,
Jessica